We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
