his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
