just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
