So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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