I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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