i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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