addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
