Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
