p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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