we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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