The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
