He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
