I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
