her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's always time for handjobs
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
