I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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