i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
