do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
