Only a mothe r could love this liver
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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