nut hugger
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
