Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
