I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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