I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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