This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
