My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
