when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
