do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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