And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
