you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
