what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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