So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
