another moral hangover. fuck.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
