Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
