Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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