I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And then he peed in my hair
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