I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
