im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
