Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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