Well apparently he's into motor boating.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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