As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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