So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
