He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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