I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
