new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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