I'm so fucking centered right now
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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