Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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