hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
