ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You can't just leave with hair like that
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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