Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
