May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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