did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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