No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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