his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
