she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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